6 Hard Truths About Motherhood
I finally had to accept some hard truths about myself as a mother.
My kid is not my world. I know…harsh right? But I believe that she enriches my life and I hers, and it’s ok for us to be independent of each other. How else am I going to teach her to stand on her own?
I do not give my kid all my time and attention. Brutal huh? For some reason, I have this notion that kids need to be able to entertain themselves and learn how to cope with their own company. And that it’s ok to not be the center of attention constantly.
I don’t think my kid can do no wrong. Um, I KNOW my kid can do all sorts of wrong. She’s a KID. Hell, I experiment with different situations just to see how she’ll behave so that she can learn HOW to do what’s right.
I don’t let my kid do everything she wants. I know, I suck right? Thing is, one day she wants to be a ballerina, and the next she wants to be soccer star. Her mind can change in an instant and give you whiplash. So for me, it’s more important to let her do what she consistently wants to do. I don’t have the kind of disposable income that allows me to indulge her every idea.
I screw up…a lot, and my kid has a front row seat. Horrible huh? The fact is that I am not afforded the dubious luxury of having it all together anywhere close to the majority of the time, and my kid gets to see how I handle life on life’s terms. Parenting 24/7-365 tends to leave little room for attaining hero status, but I have a kid that understands that people are human and that’s ok.
Last, but not least, if I were to die tomorrow, my kid will know I loved her deeply because I did my best. Every day I do my best. Some days that means that I am distracted and preoccupied, so she does her own thing. Other days, it means that we bake and play school. And still other days, it’s nothing more than sitting close together, talking about nothing, or something that matters. More often than not, we butt heads and feelings get bruised. We laugh genuinely, cry passionately, forgive easily, and love unconditionally.
As mothers go, I’ll never win any awards. I’ll probably never get it right more than 30% of the time. And more than likely, my kids gonna “hate” me more than she’s gonna think I’m the best. But, at the end of the day, I get the honor and privilege of being a mother. I may suck at it by some standards, but I didn’t become a mother to impress anyone, not even my kids.
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A Sober Mommies Contributor is most often a non-professional – in and out of recovery – with reality-based experience to share about motherhood & active addiction, the multiple pathways to recovery, or a family member’s perspective.