Blogging And Social Media; Do Exclusions Apply?
BlogHer conferences are a big deal for bloggers. I have been hearing about them since I first started blogging, and have learned that anyone who’s anyone wants to attend.
Some of us missed BlogHer in 2013 for many different reasons. Perhaps we could not afford it, or maybe we have far too many kids or responsibilities to be flying off to a blogging conference. Some of us wish SO badly this was not the case and that we could have been there. Especially in the wake of reports that it was a blast and the opportunity to see pictures of all of our friends embracing our favorite bloggers on Facebook. I for one wish I was squished in between all of you.
I was not there.
It was expensive, for sure. It was in Chicago and would have required both travel and child care arrangements. These are reasons that could have kept me from attending this wonderful event, but my reason is much more personal.
I have NO business attending a conference known for it’s “partying.” I wanted to be there for fellowship, seminars, and networking, but very much fear the “after-party” portion.
I have never been to a conference; nor have I been much outside dinner with fellow bloggers. I would LOVE to spend time picking at the brains of the popular bloggers I look up to and laughing with them. I have heard that it’s a wonderful time, but I have also heard it gets a little “Bloggers Gone Wild” after dark. This frightens me even after thirteen years of sobriety.
I cannot put into words all of the variable feelings, but it’s serious and feels similar to those which keep me out of bars on Saturday night. I have no justifiable reason to be there. The benefits of attending do not outweigh the possible cost.
I struggle with depression and I’m in the shit lately. It’s not a great time to be hanging out in a barber shop if I’m not looking for a haircut…. ya know? So, I stayed home…no biggie.
Some fellow bloggers not able to attend the BlogHer conference held a Twitter party instead to “celebrate” not going. I thought this was an amazing idea, and looked forward to getting my tweet on…until I logged on. The constant and immediate references to alcohol served as a fast acting deterrent.
Is alcoholism trending?
I guess I don’t understand the need to talk about drinking and alcohol all the time. Yes, being a mother is stressful. Good for you! You get to drown out your day with a box of wine or some fruity vodka throat punch, but why is that more socially acceptable to talk about than my choice not to? Why are your drinking patterns my business?
Perhaps I’m a little jealous, because I miss the instant gratification and relief I found in alcohol, and I can’t drink anymore. It now takes me much more time and effort to get relief, and sometimes I do wish it could be easier. Sobriety is completely worth the effort; don’t get me wrong. I just sometimes miss the spirited exhale. I get to pray and meditate for relief today, and while sometimes I do get a sense of ease and comfort far beyond what a drink ever gave me, that shit takes time — time I do not always have or want to take.
I get frustrated with you; it’s true. It especially bothers to me when you all get together in groups for #wineparty etc., because I’d love to be a part of that, but I can’t. I don’t drink wine and the hashtag is enough warning for me to stay away.
I just can’t help but feel like we’re missing out on each other.
This is not just just an issue in the blogging community, but also all over the social media front…
And I just wanted you to know how much I think it sucks.
Julie Maida has been in abstinence-based recovery since May 2, 2000. She is fiercely determined to advocate for and connect ALL women with the appropriate support and resources necessary to achieve their personal recovery goals. She writes about mothering with mental illness at juliemaida.me.