I Didn’t Want to Be a Mom

When we took my son home, it didn’t take long for my insides to shed quickly to my outsides. I didn’t want to get out of bed, I didn’t want to shower, I didn’t want to clean, I just didn’t want to participate in life at all. I didn’t want to be a mom.

Finding Sexual Freedom in Sobriety

Finding that I had the freedom to choose whether or not to have sex was a revalation to me after I got sober. I’d never felt like I had the choice before.

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My Beginning was Tragic. My Ending Doesn’t Have to Be

I would go to school with a water bottle filled with alcohol stolen from whatever home I was in. No one would notice, because I didn’t drink until I was belligerent — just enough to get outside of myself.

Stop the Judgement: Laughter Doesn’t Make it Funny

Our 12-step group gives out tags for clean time; to recognize and congratulate certain lengths. This is supposed to be a joyous occasion. For a while now, when the nine-month tag is announced, some can be heard yelling out, “pregnant with recovery, not by someone in recovery.”

I’m Not Who I Was Yesterday. Today, I Am a Survivor

It was a late night in August when for the first time, our fight became physical. The whole event took about two hours but felt like two years. Sometimes I will relive it in my head.