I was wanting to maybe get some advice on dealing with family after getting sober. I understand trust has to be reestablished, especially since this is not my first rodeo, but I can’t help but get my feelings hurt over the talking behind my back, backhanded compliments and discrediting me as a mother.
I had a situation today that kind of broke the camel’s back, and while I know it’s out of my control, I desperately want to say something. I feel like my family acts like they’re just waiting for me to fail, and I feel like they overstep their boundaries when it comes to my son and my parenting.
I understand concern and wanting to help, but it seems more like they’re ready to jump at the chance to take him from his alcoholic mother. I kept my continuing alcoholism secret after the first time I tried to get sober. They helped me take care of him while I focused on recovery. I have not had any legal issues, and my drinking mostly took place while he was with his father.
I came clean about my drinking, and took the steps to get sober again and his dad agreed to help me. I knew I was dying and I just wanted a way out of the miserable cycle. There has never been any abuse or neglect, only an alcoholic trying to juggle her addiction, being a mother, and pretending I wasn’t contemplating suicide daily. I did what I had to do to be free from my misery and be the mother my son deserves.
Why do they treat me like I’m unfit, and why do they take credit for “raising” him for 6 months? The only reason I went the first time was because I was reassured I was doing the right thing and that I was a better and healthier mom for it, That they would take care of everything and help as much as possible if I just got help?
Why do they use that same 6 months I was in recovery against me? How would you handle it? How do I come to peace with it, until I’m at a point where they no longer question me as a fit mother? And how do I respond to backhanded compliments and gossip?”
Just Doing My Best
Keeping in mind that we discourage the use of phrases like, “should” or “have to,” what suggestions or advice do you have?
Have you ever had a family member or friend disrespect you or your role in your child’s life? How did you handle it?
Do you have people in your life who struggle to let go of who you used to be even though you’ve changed and aren’t that person anymore?
How do you keep that from affecting your motivation to keep moving forward in your recovery?
Do you have a question? Ask A Sober Mom today!