Someone asked me once, if I could go back in my past and change anything, what would I change. I answered simply, “Nothing.”
I honestly believe that with everything – the bad things that happen to us, the decisions and mistakes we make – comes a gift. We may not be able to see it right away, but when we do, hopefully we treasure it. I have been given many blessings in my life, despite all of the heartache. To me the truly important and valuable things in my life are not possessions; they are people. I am blessed with amazing people that I may not have met had I not gone through what I have. I wouldn’t trade these relationships for anything.
I am a survivor of abuse, domestic and sexual violence, and I have severe health problems. I have struggled with homelessness, depression, anxiety, self-harm, bulimia, agoraphobia, and alcoholism. Someone asked me once how, with all of those things, I can still say I am blessed. I told her it was simple. I have a long, dark road to walk sometimes, but I don’t have to do it alone. I have a lot of beautiful lights to guide me on my journey. I do not have to do this thing called life on my own. There will be someone with me at my side right up until the end.
I will not be alone.
My past made me who and what I am today. And I am beginning to see that she is not such a bad person for me to be. I don’t often say good things about myself, I struggle with a keen sense of low self-esteem and am more than adept at beating myself up on a regular basis, but I am working on it. I have a long way to go in my healing, but I do know that I am a loving, caring, kind, and compassionate person.
If I went back and changed those terrible things, made right my mistakes, or made different choices regarding my life, who would I be? Who would I have? Would I have my faith? Would I have the new family I have created for myself?
I believe that words can change the world. Would I have those words had I not struggled and fought to survive? What would become of these priceless gifts I have and see?
I would not give them up for anything.
I would not change a thing.
This post was submitted by Lara Poirier.
What about you?
If you could change something in your past, would you do it?
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