Dear Father-In-Law: Stop Offering Me Alcohol
My husband’s family is a different story. I don’t really remember their reaction. I didn’t drink very much in front of them—I preferred to do my drunken debauchery in front of friends and strangers and preserve the good-girl image with possible future in-laws.
So maybe they didn’t think my drinking was as bad a problem as it really was. But even with that, you think it would sink in that I don’t drink.
Well, apparently it hasn’t. Ever since getting sober almost seven years ago, my father-in-law has offered me an alcoholic beverage at about 98% of the meals we’ve shared. The most recent time being a few months ago.
What. The. Fuck.
They’ve now known me sober longer than as a drinker and he still offers me a damn beer with dinner?
Because I don’t like to make people feel uncomfortable, I usually just say no. If I’m feeling a little annoyed, I’ll say, “No, I don’t drink.” This is what I’d really like to say:
Listen, asshole, I don’t fucking drink. I chose not to drink alcohol because I really fuck my life up when I’m drunk. If I took that stupid glass of wine you’re holding, it would lead to me draining the rest of the bottles in this house, stumbling down to the corner dive bar, throwing back shots of Jack, getting flirty with greasy potential rapists, getting belligerent when someone calls me on my behavior, trying to run away at 3 AM, blacking out at 4 AM, waking up at 9 AM (still drunk), puking and with no recollection of what I’d done the night before. So if you want me to fuck up my life, your stepson’s life, and your grandson’s life, go ahead and keep offering me alcohol. If you want to finally show that you respect my decision to not drink alcohol, then never fucking offer me another alcoholic drink. Or so help me God, I will set you on fire.
I’m sick of lip-service support. It’s easy to do the, oh yeah it’s great you don’t drink, yada yada yada BS. But when it’s followed up with an offer of alcohol, it says you either don’t respect my sobriety, or you don’t care enough to remember one very important detail about me. It hurts, and it makes me feel unloved.
If someone in your life tells you they’re an alcoholic, please make it a point to never offer them an alcoholic beverage again. Sounds simple, but apparently it’s hard to do.