When I came into recovery, I knew I deserved to be clean because I needed it, but the other stuff that came along with it, the care and concern shown to me by other women in my new recovery circle I felt like I just didn’t deserve. My inner monologue was so terrible for so long I had told myself I was unworthy of care and love.
I deserved to be treated poorly. I was disgusting.
The things we say to ourselves…
Changing my inner monologue was perhaps the hardest thing I had to do in recovery. It took a long time and a lot of faith in the women around me to see the spark that they saw inside me. It took those little leaps of faith and belief in them for small moments of time, one day at a time. I allowed those women to fan the sparks when I just didn’t feel strong enough to do so. Today, I’m strong enough to not only keep the light shining inside of me, but also to fan the sparks I see in other women. That is where the true gift lies.
So, ladies, I leave you with this to write on your mirror because this is what those lovely women told me; You deserve recovery.
You deserve the love recovery has to offer you.
You deserve to celebrate every victory over your disease today.
You deserve the care given to you by those around you.
You deserve to smile.
I love you.
This post was submitted by Rachel
Contact Rachel via Twitter @racheltrm