I Owe It To My Children
My drinking began the night of my 21st birthday, and didn’t stop until I was 34. I did what I thought all adults did; I drank. I knew I was different though, because once I started I couldn’t stop, and I had to drink daily.
When I was 31, I married Tony; my best friend and drinking partner. I adopted his 18-month-old child, and we had a baby of our own. I decided I wanted to be a stay at home mom and raise my newborn. Boredom set in really fast, and I began drinking earlier and earlier in the day; and I found the morning drink. The baby was five months old when I found out I was pregnant again (unplanned), and I was quite upset because I wouldn’t be able to drink.
The day I was sent home from the hospital, my drinking became a full-time job. I slept with a 24 ounce beer on my night table so when I woke up with withdrawals, I could take the edge off and be able to get up with my babies. My body was physically dying, and my spirit was gone.
I lost any hope of being a great mother.
I began to lose all of my hair, and was diagnosed with stress-induced alopecia. Driving back and forth to the liquor store with my two small kids became part of my stay at home mom routine. My husband would come home and find me blacked out drunk with the kids doing whatever they pleased.
On March 24, 2012 my husband finally had enough. He gave me the option of going to detox and straightening my life out, or moving out and losing my three babies. I checked into detox that night and jumped into a 12-step program head first when I got out. By the grace of God, my sponsor, and the 12 steps, I just celebrated two years in March! As a way of giving back, I now work in a detox facility.
I love life today, and I enjoy every minute with my family. My children love having a sober mommy and are very involved in my recovery.
I owe it to them.
Thank you for your Sober Mommies page. I follow it daily! And thank you for letting me share! I hope that at least one person receives hope.
This powerfully honest and inspiring story was submitted by Laura.
A Sober Mommies Contributor is most often a non-professional – in and out of recovery – with reality-based experience to share about motherhood & active addiction, the multiple pathways to recovery, or a family member’s perspective.