I want to give everyone this beautiful gift of a new happy life. I want to be able to bottle up the hope and love that I have found, and tell them “you too, can have this.” But I can’t.
It’s exhausting to be in active addiction, you never get a break. You’re always worried about your next high; so much so, that you don’t even enjoy the high you’ve got. It’s exhausting keeping the lies straight, trying to meet new people to steal from, and trying to keep loved ones off your back.
A voice that sounded like mine whispered that today a drink would feel amazing. A drink would make me feel whole and perfect. I would be able to breathe deeply and fit “right” inside of my skin. My problems would evaporate, seeming weightless and unimportant. Life would feel wonderful.
When we speak about recovery, there are words and phrases—”recovery clichés”—that we use regularly, some because they serve us, and others because we are echoing the words of others. I’m learning that if I am to truly embrace… Read More
“I am 72 days sober, first time, no relapses, and I am feeling good. I want to start a family and get pregnant at 6 months. Is it a bad idea? I have a wonderful marriage and amazingly… Read More